The Taylor Wedding

In the last few weeks, so many strange/wonderful things have happened on the spiritual side of all this and I just wanted to share.

First of all, last weekend, one of Perry's college friends got married. The wedding was at this beautiful place in Wheeling - The Capital Music Hall. The ceremony was breathtaking and part of me felt like God also made that day for Perry, Cooper and I. I felt a little guilty about that at first, but because I truly know what type of person Lucas is, I knew he wouldn't mind. I also know that God probably told Lucas, "hey, I know you don't mind, but there is something else I have to do with YOUR day."

I know that sounds strange, but before the vows, the pastor began talking about how Lucas and his beautiful bride (Kaitlyn) wanted this day to be about their guests just as much as it was about them. The scripture verse Romans 8:28 said: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." So as the pastor related the verse to Lucas and Kaitlyn, I couldn't help but let my mind wander (sorry Luke) about how that verse fits our current situation. The funny thing is, as I felt tears streaming down my face and tried to refocus on the beautiful couple on the stage, the Pastor actually said, "some of you may feel like I'm speaking directly to you, and that is probably because I am." SO - in that moment, I KNEW for sure that God wanted me to feel His presence and to rest assured that He is truly in control

So not only did I feel the insane amount of love in that place, but I felt like God was using Lucas and Kaitlyn's day to reassure us that things were going to be OK if we lean on Him, trust Him and love Him.

So, you would think that the ceremony alone provided enough clarity for us, well we did, but God was finished!

Following the ceremony, we attended the beautiful reception where Lucas' mom, this AMAZING Christian woman unselfishly sought us out and spent A LOT of time (especially considering it was her son's day) with us talking about the course of action for Cooper's heart surgery. After about 10 minutes went by, she grabbed me and hugged me and asked me if she could pray for us. So right there, at the edge of the dance floor with loud music playing and people dancing, we prayed. It wasn't a short prayer either, it was a beautiful, long prayer spoken from a mom who understood my heartache and said everything I tend to say on a day-to-day basis. She "got me," and she knew just what to do.

It was an incredible day.

So fast forward to today, Sunday, September 23. GAH - as I wrote the date just now, I realized I forgot my mom and dad's wedding anniversary.

Anyway - today's mass was about Children and their innate ability to 1. live in the present moment and 2. trust completely. Coincidence? I think not. I had this image of God wrapping his arms around His children and for a second I wondered if the message meant specifically small children (Toopey's size) or if I could place myself in the message. So I did just that and I actually felt God wrapping His arms around me and I was able to take a big, deep breath and feel a sense of peace.

Again, you think God would be finished. . .nope. I'm beginning to think that God doesn't do anything on a small scale OR maybe He just knows I'm stubborn and hard-headed. Well, after mass ended, this man sitting behind us grabbed me by the shoulders and whispered in my ear, "God has prepared a special gift for you, you just pray." As soon as he said it, I of course lost it, looked at Perry and his mom (she was at mass with us), and Perry of course immediately said, what did he say? I've seen the guy at mass before, but I know nothing about him, not even his name. As we approached the car, I thought about running back to ask him how he knew or if God told him to tell me what he just told me. After I thought about the message - live in the present moment and trust as a child would trust, I decided it wouldn't be a good idea. Instead, I will just trust.

So tomorrow is MRI day. I'm exhausted but full of anxiety, sitting at my dining room table drinking ginger ale. As I sit here filled with anxiety, I know that ultimately it will be so good for the doctors and surgeons to know EXACTLY what to expect on surgery day.

Coop has to be at the hospital at 2ish tomorrow to prepare for his MRI. His actual appointment for the MRI is 4:45, so its going to be a long afternoon and evening. He will be put under and will have a catheter and can't eat after 10 a.m. (he's a piggy so this will be tough for him), so I know that tomorrow will mark the first of many difficult days in the next few weeks. We were told that we would have the MRI results Wednesday or Thursday, and at that point the cardiologist and surgeon will decide the course of action for surgery.

So please continue to pray for us and share our story so that your friends and families can pray. I want God to have hundreds of voices in His ear for Cooper - thinking of that gives me AMAZING hope. Some of you have talked to me about being angry at God. I have gone through that emotion as well and sometimes it still rears its ugly head, but ultimately I know that I just have to trust and so that is my choice, and I hope that you will follow me.

Goodnight everyone!